| Match |
|
When I think of matched, reminds me of a certain situation in my past, of which some have already told you. You remember that my first girl that caught the streetcar? When you chose with her for a date already knew a lot about matching. Is often practiced to both friends and strangers to me how people, which allowed me to achieve high efficiency. Throughout our meeting, which took place in a quiet cafe, I worked on this, to use all my knowledge of the match. I began by matching the tone of voice and speed of speaking, because it seemed the easiest. Then when I noticed that her favorite was the system Audytywny modality (auditory), I began to use predicates in that system. Do not get me wrong, no predicates resigned from visual (my favorite) or kinesthetic, and only tried to relate more than the usual sense of hearing. The next thing I copied was the attitude of the body. As a typical słuchowiec my girl bent her head slightly to the right so how did the same thing. (it is a mirror image). The last thing you copied was the rhythm and depth of breathing, which was not the easiest question, but when I experienced an unusual feeling accomplished. Our conversation with the "lukewarm" and superficial conversation turned into great friends. Even an hour before my girl was a stranger to me, and now I feel as if she were my best friend, with whom I spend a great deal of time. Not only I had the same impression, but after a few minutes she told me that "he feels as though we did not know today, but at least half a year." Why did this happen? Why, after an hour of our knowledge has been able to entrust to me your secret to almost everyone? In what way it is completely won the trust and friendship? It is thanks to its fitting physiology, tone of voice and representation system (modality). But the most important reason was my internal consistency and honesty. In the long term adjustment works only if you care for someone and you have positive intentions towards that someone. If you want to use the girl and are providing a matching technique, remember that in the short run you may succeed, but sooner or later some part of your physiology reveals a certain inconsistency and within the time the thread that connects you and trust agreement will be terminated permanently. Sometimes I meet the opinion that "fitting in is a kind of manipulation." Frankly the boundary between effective communication and manipulation is small. Does using the match to within tens of minutes to ensure you can trust and friendship of your girl, manipulating? In my opinion, it all depends on your intentions. If you depend on a girl, you want to create something unusual and unique, it is only an extremely effective communication tool. In addition, technology is a natural fit that strategy, we use unconscious. It's an old saying "who agrees with whom this becomes" and the effects can be seen in his own eyes. Note that people who spend a lot of time together come to resemble each other. Just beginning to talk, use the same phrases, wear similar clothes, and sometimes even move similarly. When you want to see a natural strategy to match the look of two good old friends, when talking to each other and are in good touch. Usually they just sit, talk at the same speed and even perform similar gestures. Such a natural fit unwittingly created by months or years of human knowledge. | | |